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Wishing My Wenis Was Longer

Well my wenis I thought was rather large so my 2 friends and I decided to measure our wenis's to see who's has the largest. One of my friends had a non stretchy wenis which only measured to 1cm I came in 2nd with my wenis of 3 1/2cm and the winning wenis was a whopping 4cm of wenis on her I was rather shocked but eventually came to reasons with it.


~Michayla

Wenis Showing

One time - I think I was in fifth grade - I was sitting at my desk and a Chinese boy named Andy walked in. He was the only person in the entire class who was smarter than me. Everyone loved Andy, maybe because he was really weird or just funny. Anyway, one morning he walked into the classroom and came up to my desk, where I was sitting, reading a book. I was wearing my favorite abercrombie dress with a spaghetti straps, so obviously my elbows and arms were exposed. He gave me his signature "Andy Smile" and giggled. "You're wenis is showing!" he laughed. I shrieked and slapped him in the face, something I later recieved I.S.S. for, and started flipping out. But Andy explained that a wenis is only the skin on your elbow. The End.


~Ziva

Wenis Fetish

You could say I have a wenis fetish. Personally, I enjoy dressing my wenis up and taking it out on dates. Last Friday my wenis was dressed in a full tuxedo suit including a top hat and mustache and I was in my fanciest evening gown. We went out to a five star restaurant and enjoyed a perfect night out together. We also go to the movies and on long walks on the beach. My wenis is my best friend. Someday, we are going to get married. I love my wenis.


~PeAcE.lOvE.wEnIs forever

 

Wenis Violation

It was some time ago that my daughter sneaked up behind me and sucked my wenis! It was shocking! I screamed for her to stop so she did. It wasn't painful but it felt very weird. The next day, thinking she was funny, she waited until I wasn't paying attention and sucked on it again!!. Now, here we are, 12 years later, laughing about the time she sucked my "elbow bag" for that was what she used to call it!


~Nancy

Moist Wenis

So one day I walked my wenis. It started raining. So now my wenis is moisturized


~Moist Wenis Addict

Important Wenis

okay. one of the most important people in my life is my wenis. alot of
people are jealous of my wenis, i know because when i go out, people often
stare at it. so sometimes, i have to put it in my purse so no one steals it.
i feed, and massage my wenis every night and morning. i bought a special
wenis care kit, it seems to be working.


~Maya

Dry Wenis

I would just like to remind the younger generation (I'm 43 years old) that your wenis is nothing to mess around with. In my late twenties, I had a horrible time with my dry, scaly wenis. Maybe it was the hard partying, maybe it was the feeling I would live forever, maybe it was fungus. Who knows? But one day I woke to the most painfully dry, cracked wenis you can imagine. It's a serious issue, kids. Imagine leaning into the object of your affection at dinner, putting your elbows on the table of a restaurant just out of your price range (but you want to be there for this special occasion), and whispering to him/her to whisper, "Oh God. My wenis. It pains me."

If there is one thing I wish millennials would do, it's that they would regularly lubricate their wenises with moisturizer. I have heard that 17% of all twenty-somethings currently have dry wenises. And that if the trend continues, we are facing a future of nearly half the U.S. population will have scaling on their wenises by 2030.

Moisturize for your own good. And for the good of our nation.




~Count Scotula

THe Psychic Wenis

My wenis...can tell the future. I could tell the weather based on my wenis, my best friend. I began my rubbing itching powder on my wonderful wenis ever so slightly. Then, next thing i knew, it turned blue. That is how I knew it was going to rain. then, the next day my wenis myserious crashed into an identified object known as i can't believe its not butter. Whats haunts me to this day, is i had a dream that very night. It was about a beevcoon......feeding my wenis butter. WHAT A COINKIDINK!
love, thatssowenis
P.S- i typed this with my wenis!




~Brianna

Dry Wenis

I have two beautiful wenises. I have such an attraction to it, I want to kiss it so bad and I'm so close! Although many of my friends don't like my wenis because apparently its dry, i like it crumbly. Maybe if I just moisturized it sometime (with sauce) ..



~Love, WENIS GIRL FOREVER

Smart Wenis...

The other day I wanted some cheese. So I got some out of the refrigerator. I had put down my phone, and did not know where it went! I asked my wenis. It said That it had seen it when I had gotten my cheese, by the butter. I opened the fridge, and there it was! I love my wenis, and will always take care of it!



~Jonas

Choir Wenis...

Me and my friends in Choir always try to feel each other's wenises. The teacher tells us to stop playing around and pay attention, but to us, the wenis is just too irresistible. I love the look of surprise on an unsuspecting classmate's face when I ask "Can I feel your wenis?"



~Alexann

We Need A Wenis Pillow...

One time I was standing In the bathroom doing my hair right? Well I went to turn around and hit my wenis on the door. It really hurt. I'm pretty sure its going to be purple. I think that someone should invent a wenis pillow/cushion don't you ?

Your Wenis Buddy
~Riley Oleson

Stinging Sensation...

One day at work I noticed that when I leaned on my wenis, it hurt a lot, like there were pieces of glass in it. I stopped leaning on it and examined it and there appeared to be nothing wrong. However, I couldn't touch my wenis even slightly for several days or I had shooting pain like there was glass in my wenis. My coworker said I have to just stop leaning on it so much while I'm working. That seems to help.


~Vanessa V.

Guilt Wenis...

Johnny Gorski, seven, often asked for a peek of this or that in euphemisms new to me such as yoni, bebo, slat. I giggled at his silly words, ‘til that day beneath the pines, when he leaned in close and whispered low “show me yours? I’ll show you mine… …I want to see your wenis. Pleeease?!” He begged. I screamed. He laughed. I did what good girls knew to do: I tattled to the staff. The teacher marched, with lips set hard, to where poor Johnny sat “I don’t know how you speak at home-- but here? There’s none of that!” I’m not sure how our principal dealt with my best bud’s sin but if my guilt confuses you, go look up ‘elbow skin.’

Cheers!

~Mari Nichols

Pool Wenis...

My pool team had a great time last night, because someone asked, “Do you know what a wenis is?” She went on to explain, and none of us believed her. But after a quick internet search, we found your website. Excellent! We never had so much fun stringing together every pun and wordplay we could think of, from the obvious ‘wenis envy’, to the more elaborate, ‘don’t pinch my wenis, winch my penis’…..it was an hysterical night!


~James

Wenis Discovery...

Me, Matthew and Michael were all sitting in English Matthew Showed me his wenis! I was proud to find I had a wenis. So everyone I meet today, I showed them my wenis. :)

~Kieran

Only One Wenis...

I was only born with one wenis. my left elbow, had nothing but arm. It was depressing. Some times, I just want to sqeeze it, and I reach over, but its just not there. I've thought about getting a wenis transplant, but its just to risky. Growing up, everyone made fun of me. They called me the "One Wenis Wonder" and "Squid." It was very hurtful and I often went home crying. Now its better because people are no longer judged by the size of their wenises. But I still think back and shiver at the thought of what used to be.

~Nikki T Wenis

Hold my Wenis...

Back in high school, my friend and I during our history class sat next to each other, and during lecture she would reach across the aisle and hold my wenis while we were taking notes. Everytime the teacher turned around he looked at us weird, as if we were doing something wrong. When he went back to the chalkboard to put up more notes, she latched on to my wenis again...until one day he caught us in the act and just looked at us funny and we laughed...

Since then we talk about the days in history and holding my wenis.

Mackenzie

Who hooked my wenis?

While on my boat, I got a fish hook caught on my wenis once.  
My brother pulled a bit too hard and I asked him to be a bit more gentle with my wenis.
Eventually the hook freed itself and I felt a lot better.
My wenis healed just fine. 

Jim V.

Wenis rubbing party...

My friend and I always joke around about this. We love watching our friends faces when we go up to them and say “will you rub my wenis” or “want to have a wenis rubbing party at my house?”

Kelly J.

Crying Wenis...

When I was nine I fell through a glass coffee table and cut my right wenis open. In the emergency room, I talked about the glory days of Grade 3 cross-country, when my wenis and I were faster than everybody (even the Grade 4's). Reliving these happy times helped to keep my wenis distracted while the doctor played seamstress with my elbow. The ten stitches that held my wenis together gave my normally cheerful elbow skin the look of undercooked porkchops. During this period of recovery, my wenis often cried tears of blood, just like that statue of the Virgin Mary in Sacramento. 10 years later, my wenal scars still serve as a reminder of that near-apocalypse: the day I almost lost my wenis.

Robin

Lohan Wenis

Once upon a time, Mr Wenus walked his dawg rubby went for a walk, and then Mr Wenus and his dawg went to Disney, and Lindsay Lohan went up to them and said "So you like to rub wenus" and Mr Wenus said "No" and then Lindsay Lohan ran off, and Mr Wenus and Rubby lived happily ever after.

Dorilla

Wenis song remake

somebody told me that you have a wenis
that looks like a p@%#&
that i had in febuary of last year
its not confidential
my elbows got potential
bra nee nee nah nee nee now

(sounds like the killers song)

btw.
I got pretty loaded in the mountians and fell asleep on top of some icecream. my wenis got all covered in chocolate goo. so i looked to my gf and said. "hunny could you please lick my wenis". I had a clean wenis after that

Levi T.

A poem about the wenis...

I love wenis, yes I do.
I love wenis how bout you?
I don't need Mars, I don't need Venus,
I just need to rub on my wenis.
I don't need to rub on a p****, I just need my smooth round wenis.

Michelle Lee

 

Warts on my Wenis

Hi, my name is Bett and I have warts on my Wenis!!

Brett

Use your Wenis, not your fist

At the end of the work day, we bump our wenises together instead of our fists.

J. and D.

Tingly Wenis

I get tingly sensation in my wenis whenever I hit it on something...

Jim M.

Wenis and X-acto Knives

I was a graphic artist, and the exact same thing happened to my wenis. Except no diaper... mine had white stuff coming out. The doc said it was fat.

Whatever you say doc!

Michael D.

 

Wenis Discovery

ok one day is was sitting down and my brother said hey do u know what a wenis is i said no then he showed me and i was like no patch of skin has a name but he said its on your elbow even girls have it

and i said wow

My Wenis Surgery (true story)

I am a graphic artist.  A number of years ago I had a serious injury to my wenis.  Back then a fully functional wenis very necessary in the work place, since it involved a lot of hand work.

Anyway, I was cleaning up the art room.  The usual, dusting, putting away and organizing tools.  I made a grave error.  I placed a group of x-acto knives, point up, in a rotating tray on my desk.  My thought was to keep the points sharp by not letting them touch anything.  It was only moments later that I was reaching high, then stepped down from the stool I was standing on and turned to dismount.  As I did so I impaled the end of my wenis with one of the knives.  The blade and handle had gone in over 2 inches.  I ran to the bathroom to check my gaping wound.  It was going to take more than a band aide to fix this.  Then my wenis started to go numb.  I wrapped it in a towel and went to my wife’s office and announced  that we better get to the hospital.

In the emergency room I explained my situation, and showed them my wound.  A reconstructive/cosmetic surgeon was called in, and I was led to a room for the surgical procedure to repair my wenis.

I lay on an operating table, and a diaper was placed beside me for me to lay my bleeding wenis on.  The surgeon was worried about nerve damage.  He injected several shots of Novocain, to numb me down there.  Then he announced he would have to open the wound farther so he could look for any additional internal damage.  He found some and made some sutures to tie things back together.

During the procedure, my wife stood by me holding my hand.  The site of all the blood on the diaper, which had to be changed a couple of times, must have gotten to her.  The assisting nurse who was watching my wenis in a diaper, and handing tools to the Doctor, suggested my wife sit down as she was getting pale.

As for me, I lay there discussing the surgery’s progress with the Doctor.  Once he completed the final stitches, and cleaned me up, the nurse carefully bandaged my wenis, and instructed me on how to care for it over the next few days.

I felt much better, having been in such good hands.  Of course my wenis was stiff and sore for a few days.  But it healed wonderfully, and was soon fully functional.

I have learned my lesson about x-acto knives, or any other sharp objects, to KEEP THEM AWAY FROM MY WENIS. 

Since then I have prescribed to using Wenis Lotion to keep it soft and supple.

Dwight

 


 

More stories coming soon!


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